Wow, this week I have let discouragement creep in from every angle.  Over coming being sick, staying on top of responsibilities at work, meeting deadlines at school and preparing to lead a training on trauma and resilience at work, I have let myself become weak.  I voiced my stress and fear to many that love me and would tell me to keep on.  One voice spoke the words that many years before her time were formed in a lesson that I did not grasp at the time.  Now the “ah ha” moment reached right in and kissed my heart and held me tight.  It was about twenty four to twenty five years ago we were at a horse show with my dad.  He was showing a young stallion for the first time for the owners.  The horse was a beautiful pure black stallion.  “Stallion”  defines the power of the animal that my dad was climbing upon.  Leg up, leg over and boom on the ground.  Leg up, leg over and  boomon the ground again.  Leg up, leg over and repeat, and repeat.  My dad was not going to quit, neither was the horse.  I can not give you an exact number of times my dad climbed up and came back down.  I do know that the last time was the time it mattered.  He stayed on.  They were both trying to wear the other one down and finally my dad was up and on and going forward.  But not without consequences.  I noticed something different as my dad was riding back in forth preparing to enter the show ring.  His pants were ripped in the crotch from front to back.  “Daddy, stop!  Your pants are ripped!  You have to change!”  “NOPE, not getting off this horse until we come out of that ring”.  The young stallion entered the show ring and without further incidents completed the class and although did not place high in the awards ceremony, his presence was noticed.  Maybe because of the beautiful animal he was, his powerful legs reaching and hoofs beating on the ground.  Or because the man on the horse was oblivious of the whispers through the crowd…”Does that man have a handkerchief in his lap?”  Whitie tighties shining bright! My father rode the horse out of the ring climb off, his choice, and popped a cigarette in his mouth and smiled that sly famous chamberlain grin.  He had always taught us to get back on the horse that threw you.  Overcome the adversity.  He also taught me that night that what was important at the moment was not the world’s perception of him, it was that he was not going to give up, he was not going to give up on the horse and to train the behavior that the horse needed to learn he gave it his all.  I thought that was the only lesson that there was in that moment.  My daughter whom I have shared many many stories of the grandfather she never knew gave me this words. I knew immediately that just like our heavenly Father, we are given lessons in life to prepare us for what is ahead.  26 years ago I held his hands as he breathed his last breath and today he is still teaching me.

ME: I’m stressed out like crazy!  SHANNON: Don’t be stressed  ME: …I’m scared I am going to fall on my face   SHANNON: it’s not guaranteed that you won’t, but if you do, do what your daddy would say, get back up and ride again, even with a rip in your pants.

The rip in my father’s pants didn’t define the person he was, he knew what he had to do for the horse to succeed.  He did not let the world define who he was, he did what he believed in.  Thrown off again and again he kept getting back up and even with the scar from being thrown off (rip) this would not stop him from completing the lesson.  So many times we are afraid of living up to the world’s standards instead of our own that we sacrifice the real lesson.  Thank you daddy for teaching me to be the sacrifice that matters in this life “I appeal to you therefore brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship” (Romans 12:1 NIV).  Thank you Shannon for the words that brought me back to get back up and ride again and ride proudly with a rip in my pants!