Stop wasting grace journey update……so in Feb i started this journey. Because, neither me or my trainer wanted to test our crisis responses, we waited until I had my physical…well that went well, with just a few additional follow ups, then Nana mode became more important so another week, before i really started sessions with her. She had me doing some 30 min twice a week at least and had me start on the nutrition part. Well, both were come and go, however I am proud to say, NO SWEET TEA since 2/1/19! and maybe one 8 oz of soft drink since 2/1/19!! I will wait while everyone stops cheering… oh was that just me? I believe that alone has just changed so much in my body. I did follow the nutrition for the most part, with some ups and downs. For Feb, since I really was on stall, (except for the sugar) I gave myself a lot of pardons. So March roars in and 3/1/19 began the real push. I have had two really good workout sessions. I am pushing myself to find the time during the day to get out and walk whenever I can and nutrition, well, I am following the guidelines but I am not eating enough. Really? Yes Really. First its figuring out what I can grab and go, the thoughts of what I have in my refrigerator or cabinets don’t really sound great at 6:30 am. And then its, what drive thru will offer good choices. Then dinner, nope, I am officially debriefing from my day, I would rather not eat, then have to cook and I am on point on what’s legal to eat. Yea, Yea, Yea… I know food prep, done it, can do it, don’t want to do it (except when it was for my baby girl getting ready for baby Collins). So this Friday I whined like the biggest baby there is to my trainer. “I don’t want carrots and celery, I don’t want to fix dinner, I don’t want to give up my Sunday to cook all day”. God Bless her… she said ok and made notes in her notebook. As I took my sweaty body and hair to my hair appointment (Sorry Jennifer!). I had the time to think. Boy was I ashamed! You know how you relax as your head is being shampooed by someone else and then they comb, cut, blow dry….. ahhhhh. Nope not today, God gently tilted my chin up and without the whisper I usually get, He let me just soak myself in and it was not so pretty. The first thought…YOU…`made this commitment. If not YOU, then WHO. I felt gut punched by every “I don’t or I can’t” that I had uttered that morning. I spent the rest of the day, scanning through cookbooks, Pinterest, the list she sent me, scribbling, scratching out and ripping up lists to start another. By 9 pm, Walmart had its marching orders and I had a week planned! I realized that my first stumble is….getting out to shop for groceries… that was fixed quick! Sure not going to order,pay and then stay away, letting go of this week’s grocery fund. I was committed to picking up my good, clean, fresh food. Natalie being here, got me excited about crafting and that scared me that I would decide not to eat lunch and then not fix and eat a healthy dinner. Well, I stayed committed. My can’t (which is really I won’t, I don’t want to) turned into I did!!! Made a beautiful Deep Dish Pizza Casserole! Delicious! Legal and fresh!!! Phillip was right on board too. Of course he got two helpings to my one. But it was just right… Goldilocks. In that moment on Friday examining myself, while I at least had clean hair… without the whisper…God got me right back on track…

“So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.” (Philippians 13:15-16) MSG.

Yes, I have Sunday to get up and get on the right track and get it done. Food prep ready, and why am I going to? Because I can, because I want to, because I will and because if not me then who?